Your Mom
by DarkeFlame
Summary: Excerpt: I'm gonna *beep* *beep* you *beep* in the *beep* while you *beep* because I wanna *beep* the *beep* *beep* in the *beep*. This is what this story contains. Idiocy, crack, OOC, censorship, and cows. You have been warned. Davyn&Nearra gen. noncanon


**Warnings: Crack, OOC, Bestiality (if you read things differently), Weird Pairings, insanity, and cows. Bob *which is **_**totally**_** her real name* helped co-write this. We don't own anything.**

"Then we shall have the pleasure of getting to know you all over again." Elidor said. *blah blah blah*...*healing process commences*  
>*Pain filled screams*<br>*moans*  
>*more pain filled screams*<br>*Nearra comes out covered in blood*  
>"WHY ARE YOU COVERED IN KETSUP? DID YOU ROAST A BUNNY WITHOUT ME? I WANNA ROAST BUNNIES WITH YOU!" Sindri said.<br>"Are you serious, she's obviously on her period." Katriona admonished.  
>Elidor walked up to Nearra, and higged her, saying, "It's wonderful to see you have been cleansed of the evil spirit that possesed you."<br>"AGH ELF YOU MUST DIEEEEE!" Nearra stabbed Elidor with an invisible knife, and he ran off to his emo corner and started crying. "I HATE YOU ALL! ALL YOU ELVES, MINOTAURS, KENDER, AND JEWS-I MEAN HUMANS- THINK YOUR BETTER THAN ME! WELL SEE IF YOUR BETTER THAN THIS!"  
>Nearra pulls out a bazuka and points it threateningly at everyone.<br>"Mooo!" Jax...mooed. Because that's all minotaurs are. They're cows. They eat grass. And apparently, moo.  
>"AAAGH! DIE!" Nearra shot the bazooka at the cow-minotaur crossbreed thing. And missed. She hit Kat instead.<br>!  
>"Nearra! You are a human too! Why'd you explode Kat! She was gonna be my babies momma later!" Davyn ran around in circles, screaming. Then the cow ate Sindri. And then Maddoc walked in.<br>"WTF?" Maddoc walked back out. He sends his falcon out with a message to Elric in Palanthas saying, "I'm gonna *beep* *beep* you *beep* in the *beep* while you *beep* because I wanna *beep* the *beep* *beep* in the *beep*." **(A/N- even if you add words, it doesn't make sense. So don't just copy and paste this. But it does sound funny!)** But the bird made it 30 feet before it was struck by lightning, even if there are no clouds in the sky of this wonderful valley. Maddoc went and cried for his pet bird and lost lover **(A/N- Elric, not the bird. But it could be the bird, if you want to) **in the emo corner with Elidor. Then the old man and the elf started *beep* ing *beep* in his *beep* because of *beep*.** (A/N- this doesn't make sense if you add words either.)**  
>One of the clerics walked up to Nearra, and yelled, "SHE HAS HELP, SHE NEEDS PROBLEMS!" Then the fat guy eats everyone exept for Davyn, the cow-minotaur thing, and and the *beep*ing couple in the emo corner.<br>Davyn runs out of the room, still screaming like a little girl. The fat guy decides to take a walk on the edge of a conveniently placed cliff that wasn't there before, but falls off and lands on Davyn.  
>*long traumating death scene, like the ones in those movies about wars and the soldier needs to get help, and they're crawling through the mud, bullets ricocheing around him, and he dies tragically, and then they cut to the scene with his wife and kids getting the call, saying he's dead*<p>

The cow lives happily ever after. Until it is taken over by Asvoria, and she thinks she's running through the field of flowers, saying "I finally have a body, no one will be able to stop me! Muahahahahahaha!"  
>But since no one understands cow language, all they hear is moo moo mooo while the cow is laying in the grass, legs in the air, twitching, before the people decide not to eat the diseased retarded cow, but shoot it anyways, because these are nice people and they're saving the cow from a long and pathetic life as a retarded diseased cow thing.<br>These nice people just so happen to be Maddoc and Elidor, on their honeymoon after getting gay marriges legalized in 14 different countries, including, but not limited to, Qualinesti, Silvanesti,  
>Palanthas, Solamnia, Tresvka, and the White Tower.<p>

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